23rd July, 2014

My Dream 1D Day

fangirlingthishardcouldbreakahip:

HOUR ONE

Ben Winston is guillotined for Crimes Against Music Video Making after being forced to watch “You and I” on a loop for 45 minutes.

HOUR TWO
Respectful removal of Ben Winston’s body and clean up of blood from the studio floor while the band stands around awkwardly looking respectful.
HOUR THREE
Zayn gets ridiculously high and starts sharing his conspiracy theories (“Okay, like, Lady Gaga is part of the Illuminati, right?…”)
HOUR FOUR
An exclusive interview with Modest! Management where they tell us how they make such jaw-droppingly bad business decisions (“We like to find the very best songs on the album, say, “Through The Dark” and “Strong” and make sure we never, ever release them as singles. Also, we like to create merchandise that is geared specifically to children. We’ll soon be releasing 1D Where We Are Training Pants for toddlers and 1D sippy cups…”)
HOUR FIVE
Harry in a hot tub full of middle aged men.
HOUR SIX
Louis will pick four lucky fans at random and call them up to chew their asses out with his trademark Tomlinson sass  (“Seriously, love. Do you think that going to our show with my name written on your face like a right twat will make me want to fuck you? I don’t even like puss—-, er, I mean…”)
HOUR SEVEN
Spelling bee with Liam and Niall where they attempt to write one simple tweet with no spelling errors.
HOUR EIGHT
A close-up of Zayn looking moody. For a solid fucking hour. You’re welcome.
HOUR NINE
Sophia comes out in the black outfit she wore to Jay’s wedding so we can all self-hate and then question our sexuality because, Christ, she’s hot.
HOUR TEN
Louis and Eleanor come on to prove their true love. Louis launches a convincing argument for his heterosexuality, pointing at Eleanor’s nether regions and saying, “I love all those wrinkly, hidden bits down there! I do. I love both the labia minora AND majora. SEE EVERYONE?” 
HOUR ELEVEN
The Tomlinson/Deakin family promote things.
HOUR TWELVE
As a grand finale, Harry and Louis come out and re-enact all of the Jesus fic.

(via Blog-1DPR taught me not to drink the Koolaid.)

23rd July, 2014

(via you're not alone)